


The Lonely Reign

by weasleytook



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-17
Updated: 2010-09-17
Packaged: 2017-10-11 23:08:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weasleytook/pseuds/weasleytook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you can't fall in love, there's sometimes a different place you can fall to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lonely Reign

**Author's Note:**

> Written before Mockingjay was released.

  
Johanna hates the word victor. It's an absurd way to describe what they go through. There is no victory when you've taken an innocent life to save your own.

She hates the Capitol and nearly everyone who lives there. She hates the clothes, the ridiculous modifications they make to themselves and more than anything, she hates how they love her. The most beloved of past victors get invited to the Capitol a few times a year for press appearances and parties. She hates those too.

This time it's a party for President Snow, some milestone about the length of his presidency or something. Johanna doesn't care enough to remember the details. But she stands in the crowd, drink in hand, greets her fans with a smile and pretends like she's so grateful for any chance to get out of District 7.

She sees Finnick across the room trying to extricate himself from some particularly touchy women and Johanna laughs at the sight of it. She may hate everything else, but Finnick, she likes. He finally escapes and is at her side in seconds.

"Need a drink?"

"I have no use for it."

Johanna gives him a knowing smile. The whispers around Panem are that Finnick Odair only has one vice and it's not alcohol. Both she and Finnick are blessed with youth and beauty and they know it too. Trips to the Capitol involve potential lovers of both genders falling at their feet. It's an upside, but no substitute for the caress of someone who knows who you really are.

She's careful to say it quietly so no one overhears, "You've been doing this longer than I have. So tell me, how much do you hate all of this?"

Finnick leans down and she can feel the warmth of his breath on her neck as he answers, "Truthfully? More than I can ever say. And you'll only hate it more with every year that passes."

"So come to my room tonight, instead of wasting your time on some vapid Capitol idiot."

"Johanna –"

She turns her gaze towards him and grins while her fingers brush his arm. "Come on. I know you're not shy."

He shakes his head but he does not move away even as she draws closer to him. "It's not that."

"Then what is it? Don't tell me you like this upper-class trash better than me."

"No, you - you're worth more than all of them put together."

She smiles and plants a kiss on his jaw. "That's sweet. Now come along."

He doesn't protest as she takes his hand and leads him out of the party. It's a short trip back to her quarters but neither of them speak again until the door to her room closes behind them.

He says her name softly but her lips silence him before he gets the rest of his sentence out. He doesn't resist and they kiss with the kind of intensity that she knows he doesn't get with those fragile Capitol girls.

Her fingers go to work quickly unbuttoning his shirt and his strong hands are at her waist pulling her closer. She pushes his shirt open and lets her hands roam over his chest but Finnick suddenly lets go of her and moves backwards a few feet until his back is against the wall.

"Johanna."

She strategically places one hand on her hip and glares at him. "What? What is it now?"

"The girls here in the capitol, it's just sex, nothing more. But you and I –"

"We're friends. We can have sex and still be friends. It doesn't have to be more than that."

He looks towards the floor and she sees an expression on his face that she has definitely never seen before. It means something but Johanna is in no mood to figure it out now.

"I can't fall in love with you."

The laugh that escapes her is involuntary and a bit too sharp. His eyes rise to look at her and she feels a little bit guilty, but she can't help it. Her hand flies to her mouth and she laughs again. It might even be girlish enough to be considered a giggle.

"Oh, Finnick…" She moves towards him and strategically places her hand over his heart. "I wouldn't want you to anyway."

Everything and everyone she has ever loved goes away or dies, and she wouldn't want to put Finnick's name on that list too.

The dress she's wearing is flimsy enough, so it only takes her a few strategic moves to pull it from her shoulders and let it drop to the floor below her. She stands there, hand still pressed against his heart and completely naked, the dim light in the room reflecting against her smooth skin. Johanna refuses to make the next move, waiting for Finnick to figure out what she already knows.

His eyes haven't left hers yet but he finally lets his gaze drift down to take in the rest of her body. Johanna has never been immodest about the way she looks and she knows he isn't either. Years of working in the districts have made them both toned and strong, and their Capitol makeovers have left them without the scars and calluses they once had.

He gazes at her and she knows she won't have to wait much longer. He breathes in slow and deep and before he has a chance to exhale, his hands are on her hips pulling her in for another kiss. Johanna works quickly to help him out of his clothes and the next few minutes is a flurry of mouths and hands exploring everywhere until they make their way to the bed.

His touches aren't frantic and fumbling like the boys at home in District 7, they are steady and sure. He doesn't preen or try to impress her with dirty talk like men in the Capitol do when they're inside her. His groans of pleasure mix with hers and when his lips touch her neck, he says her name softly.

They tumble together and sometimes she's in control but sometimes she relinquishes the power to him. Both of them are so strong and athletic that it's a long while before either of them starts to wear down.

He brings her to climax more than once, and when it is his turn, he caresses her face with one hand and looks in to her eyes the way that no other lover ever has.

She rolls on to her side after and turns away from him as she tries to catch her breath. They are both silent for a long time and she starts to wonder if Finnick has fallen asleep when she hears a rustle of sheets and movement next to her.

"You don't have to go."

He sits up and turns to look at her as she rolls back to face him. "I never stay."

She puts her hand on his arm and though she's not one to plead, she knows when he leaves the nightmares will creep in and she'll be alone as always. "No one ever does. But, you're not really that guy, Finnick. Maybe with them, but not with me."

He nods and lies back down, this time they face each other and Johanna makes lazy circles on his chest with the tip of her fingers. "So tell me the truth, Finnick Odair…"

Finnick looks like he's bracing himself for the worst, but she just smiles as she continues, "Who is this girl that you want but can't have?"

"You think you're the smartest person in every room, don't you?"

She doesn't laugh just nods confidently. "Because I usually am. Now answer my question."

Johanna stabs him in the shoulder with the tip of her finger and then repeats the action until Finnick captures her hand with his.

"Yes. There is a girl. We've known each other since we were kids. She's 17 and –"

"I understand."

Finnick wraps his arm around her and kisses the top of her head as they lay there in the quiet. He doesn't have to tell her the rest because she already knows. It's hard to let yourself love someone when there's always the chance that one of you will be sent to Capitol as a tribute. Boys and girls back home get crushes and fool around, but falling in love when you're still teenagers means taking risks.

No one knows those risks more than Johanna and Finnick. So they take what they can get where they can get it.

She sleeps a dreamless sleep that night, something that happens so rarely that she hardly recognizes the feeling of contentment she has when she wakes next to Finnick in the morning.

There's no definition for how she feels about him, but if it means a few less lonely nights, she'll hold on to it for as long as she can.


End file.
